And I hate reading gloomy stories about how bad it is being autistic, but my excuse for this as it ain't the autism thats the problem right now, yest this is mostly politically right on social model ranting ....
Well not quite entirely to begin with as medically speaking I was feeling bad enough with a dose of what is euphemistically called around here "the galloping trots".
However notwithstanding my worries as posted in my last blog, the proverbial bombshell has dropped in the form of a letter which announces that on June the first I will be informed when my flats are to be demolished (so cue lots of anxiety because I want to know now!)
This has been hanging over me for some time, I even got to video the neighbouring flats being flattened, but I have been able to put it to the back of my mind as the date has been put off and off by various administrative machinations beyond my ken.
I know it is to my advantage if I am in the final wave, I might have a couple of years reprieve, time to get University out of the way, but my biggest fear right now is that it could be as soon as in the new year, the worst possible time.
The only upside is I will have a rough date (because I doubt if they will keep to schedule anyway)
Well I suppose the compensation will allow me to pay my University fees without a loan, something I have been cynically calculating on, however what if the amount of stress this takes, not to mention all the packing (which is a major job as I have too much stuff) really eats into my study time.
I have no end of anxieties over the whole process because I am in fear of moving to an unknown place and situation, where everything I am now familiar with is gone, and where I have to sort out all manner of daily exigencies, from where to park my Landrover (not always easy even now) to whether my neighbours will tolerate my noise, or I theirs.
Well I was supposed to have a social worker to helpe ease things, to negotiate with the various authorities in finding a suitable replacement flat, to assist with organising my move, but where is he? On holiday of course, but I doubt he even had any inkling of what is happening, and of course he is supposed to keep himself informed.
I am on my own as usual.
Can it get much worse? Well if you do factor in some other non autism related medical factors, like my being temporarily incapacitated after a couple of operations, just at the wrong time, because this is another of those unknowns I am waiting for.
Watch this space, what I have done to merit the Chinese curse of living through "interesting times" which seems to be my lot :(