Saturday, August 16, 2008

The past is a foreign country, conceptualising childhood.

I often wonder on reading the parents blogs on the autism hub, if back in the fifties, before I was five, in an alternative universe where they might have been internet savvy and had the means to disseminate there joys, frustrations and perceptions of that puzzle that was the infant Larry - what would have appeared as a representation of my life?

How would they have conceptualised me photographically and textually within their limited knowledge then and what would I make of it reading it all back today?

I do not know the half of it even. I know the pictures at least but the text is lost, and even so what would it say about me today, about what I am and what I became. It would have been at best an incomplete story.

I can write my own story now, though my past has to be written partly by reference to my parents memories (such as I remember their memories) as you can see in autobiography, but what did I "write" back then before I could read or write and how did I negotiate my existence and self in the myriad of situations I was placed in? How much would have been true and how much construction?

Who knows and we never do, I certainly do not. It is unfortunate that my parents are dead now so this debate cannot be had at an adult level with them, but my wasn't I cute ....

4 comments:

Casdok said...

An interesting thought.

Yes you were very cute!

jonathan said...

But a foreign country can also be the present for you. Are you forgetting the country of the blind?

laurentius rex said...

Look carefully at the picture, there is a catch light in the left eye, but not in the other one, the left is the one that can see you. Sinister eh :)

shiva said...

There is a look on your face that very much reminds me of the look on my face in childhood photos of me. Kind of... an NT viewer might interpret it as "terrified", and yet it... isn't. Hard to describe, but definitely something i'd see as an "Aspie kid look".

I am kind of squicked out, in an undefinable way, by parents who blog about their kids (whether the kids are disabled or not). There's something about those blogs that is... kind of compelling, but at the same time makes me feel that i really shouldn't be reading them. This makes me feel uneasy (and is why i haven't put any parent blogs in my blogroll).

I will email you later tonight (if i can get my verbal skills together enough) about trying to set up a West Mids ARM group...